Sirman on the Mount

Quote of the Week --
"Human Dignity is like God, or the perfect blowjob -- it's always some guy talking about how it happened to a friend of his; it never actually happens to you."
-- Some Guy


"Oh, look who's up..."
Zach has tagged me with the book meme

1. Total number of books I've owned.
-- "We do not 'own' books, we are merely their stewards.."
*BANG* Sorry, had to, um, retire some union librarian. Pro'ly less than a thousand.

2. Last book I bought.
-- "Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation", by Lynne Truss. I read this with an enormous sense of smugness and superiority. Absolutely everything I do is right.

3. Last book I read.
-- "Running With Scissors", by Augusten Burroughs. A deeply creepy memoir. But worth it, just to read "Dry" afterward which I thought was much less icky.

4. Five books that mean a lot to me.
-- Alcoholics Anonymous (yeah, yeah, so much for 'anonymous', right?)
-- Holy the Firm, by Annie Dillard (Is it wrong to want to worship an author and kill her at the same time? Are you lookin' at me? I don't see anyone else here, you must be lookin' at me.)
-- Making Sense Out of Suffering, by Peter Kreeft (In spite of the indisputable fact that his 'dialogues' are rather simple-minded, condescending, egotistical contrivances, employed to avoid dealing with how often he is full of shit, this is a book well worth your time. He's great on generalities but like everyone else, his reasoning and his faith both fall apart faster than Jimmy Swaggart having to apologize, when you try and apply his arguments to reality. Nevertheless, still worth your time)
-- The Sparrow, by Mary Doria Russell (Way sharper than Kreeft. Unlike him, she never tries to pretend that the end, no matter how good, somehow justifies the means. In case you missed that, it's the formulation for every theodicy I've ever heard expressed. Who knew Machiavelli was so 'Godly'?)
-- The Exorcist, by William Peter Blatty (The proof of evil is that it's so much easier to believe in the devil, than to believe in God.)

5. Next!
-- I'm sorry, but this presumes not only that I know, but also that I speak to others. Maybe someday.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 6/18/2005 01:48:00 PM || (2) comments


Jes' cuz...

Thanks to Envoy Encore and whoever the hell phildragoo is.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 3/30/2005 02:40:00 PM || (0) comments


He's Back!

|| Bubbles the Terrible 12/01/2004 08:53:00 AM || (1) comments


Lileks Outlaments Ginsberg

""There's nothing wrong with Caribou if you want a fine, efficient cup of coffee, but it's the exact same shop as the one I visited in Tokyo," he said. "It's standardized."

Efficient coffee! Say no more.
I saw the best minds of my generation, seduced by efficient coffee with grey-flannel coasters, the grinders singing whirr-whirr-whirr like big steel teeth handed out by the brain-drilling dentists of Madison Avenue! I saw Ike and Nixon golfing with Mrs. Olson. I saw Henry Ford’s Pinkerton-enforced assembly line, turning out Stepford armies of Juan Valdez clones, picking beans for pennies, crying “Oligarchy! It’s the richest kind!”
From here on in, I will never enjoy a cup of coffee if I have the nagging suspicion that the floorplan has been employed in Hamburg or Kuala Lampur."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/15/2004 10:00:00 AM || (1) comments



"I am content to know he is not in Hell. Nope. Arafat did not go to Hell. He boards the ferry, yes; he makes it halfway across the River Styx, yes. Then the ferry blows up. Ten times a day for eternity. For a start."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/12/2004 08:06:00 AM || (0) comments


Now That's Irony!

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/11/2004 01:35:00 PM || (0) comments

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/11/2004 01:24:00 PM || (2) comments

The 'Godfather of Modern Terrorism', Yassir Arafat is Dead

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/11/2004 09:26:00 AM || (0) comments

16 Won't Get Dupre 20
Diogenes reports that Dupre won't be charged with child sexual abuse because he didn't break any laws of the time:
"Fine. Criminal law cannot bring Bishop Dupre to justice on the grounds that sodomizing a 16-year old wasn't illegal when it occurred. It was, and is, a mortal sin. One might hope that Dupre's brother bishops had concerns for his immortal soul, and the immortal souls of his juvenile partners, that went beyond the New Hampshire Criminal code."
Regarding the final statement, most available evidence of past actions on the part of "Bishops" points to: 'Not Fackin' Likely.'
|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/11/2004 08:29:00 AM || (0) comments

Analysis of the Moron Revolution
William Luse at Apologia gives us his thoughts:
"I figure it happened something like this: your average moron red-stater is sitting in front of the TV one day and hears that homosexuals can now marry in Massachussetts, the state Kerry hails from. (I wonder if he hates those judges yet.) A few days later, your average anencephalic, homophobic, misogynistic, fascistic red-state couch potato is watching the news and all of a sudden that judicial ruling assumes concrete form. It takes a body, so to speak, lots of them, and what our red-stater sees is a bunch of boys holding hands with other boys, and girls with girls, and exchanging rings and wedding vows, and gazing longingly into each others' eyes, and sealing it all with a kiss, and our intellectually decapitated red-stater thinks what once would have seemed a normal thought: "Something's wrong here." The next day he sees it happening again in San Francisco, and then hears it's spreading to other municipalities in New York, New Mexico and so forth, all in defiance of statutory law, and so he finally gets to his feet, hooks his thumbs inside the suspenders of his farmer's overalls and says, "They ain't rammin' this down my throat." He decides that this year he's going to the polls, enough of him to put Bush over the top.

And Big Media has lost the election for John Kerry."
He forgot to reference the incestuous and those with a displaced phallic fetish for big guns, but go read it anyway.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/11/2004 08:23:00 AM || (1) comments


Where does 'Contempt' come from?

"Among other findings, 72 percent said the failure of bishops to stop the abuse was a bigger problem than the abuse itself, and 62 percent said church leaders are covering up the facts."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/10/2004 08:46:00 AM || (0) comments

How about a reunion?

"That same year Rabin, Peres, and Arafat -- the man who ordered the execution of the U.S. Ambassador to Sudan, Cleo Noel -- were warmly received in Washington D.C. by President Clinton. Despite world outcry, Arafat, along with Rabin, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. NYC Mayor Rudy Guiliani had refused to honor the terrorist who almost exactly 24 years earlier, March 2, 1973, ordered PLO gunmen to empty bullets into the bodies of the ambassador and two other diplomats held hostage during dinner at the Saudi embassy in Khartoum. Some saw Clinton's invitation, a deliberate failure to arrest and prosecute terrorists, as a violation of international law. The U.N., in 1950, had stipulated, "Offenses against the peace and security of mankind ... are crimes under international law, for which responsible individuals shall be punished."
Screw "international law", how about aiding and abetting a murderer?
|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/10/2004 08:42:00 AM || (1) comments


Hot Teen Bigfoot Pharmaceutical Rolex Action

Lileks - Backfence
|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/09/2004 03:49:00 PM || (0) comments

Satire or Porn?

Hmmm, Pat Oliphant thinks “right-wing standards” are:
  1. Merging of Church and State - Uh, nope.
  2. Hating gays - Uh, nope again
  3. Being a right-to-lifer - Oh, good job! Look everyone! He got one right.
  4. Opposed to stem-cell research - Wrong again. Those right-wingers voicing an opinion have made it clear that funding for adult, stem-cell research should continue, as it has a 20 year record of proven success. What they are opposed to is embryonic stem-cell research. A crucial and important distinction about which the MSM has gone to great lengths to obfuscate and lie.
  5. Believing the earth is flat - Name one. (cough) Pat Buchanan doesn’t count. (cough)
OK, so, to be charitable, lets call it 1.25 out of 5. Should that qualify this as satire? Well no, not really. But I could publish something that identifies Pat Oliphant as a lying pedophile, and I’d still be closer to the truth than he is.

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/09/2004 01:43:00 PM || (2) comments


Shitcan Specter

Get rid of him. Get rid of him now.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/04/2004 10:50:00 AM || (1) comments

Gentleman Jim regarding Lady Ann

"Turned on the TV. Some fat guy and Ann Coulter. The fat guy is smiling, but he looks like he’s trying to extrude a petrified beet through his sphincter. Ann is smiling in a fashion that suggests she was just in the green room with Al Franken, and had asked him to choose: I can kill you with my legs, or my hair. Your choice."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/04/2004 10:31:00 AM || (1) comments

Graciousness from Lady Ann

"To Michael Moore, George Soros, Terry McAuliffe, Dan Rather, Al Franken and the whole gang at Air America Radio – you were great, guys! Thanks for the help! We couldn't have done it without you!"

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/04/2004 10:05:00 AM || (0) comments

'Murderous Pig on Life Support'

"Mr Arafat, who was moved to intensive care yesterday afternoon, is on a life-support machine, a French medical source has told the news agency Agence France Presse.

The 75-year-old is not responding to treatment and "he won't recover", the source said, adding: "He is still in a coma."
Let's be very clear on this: I do not hope or pray for his recovery, I wish him ill. I want him to die. The Arab Israelis, the Jews, the Christians, the Wiccans, the politicians, philosophers and ploughmen, the marketing executives and record producers, garbage truck drivers and day care workers, and God knows, the bus drivers, will all be better off if he is dead.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/04/2004 09:41:00 AM || (0) comments


It's Too Early!!! be talking about it, but that's not stopping people. They're saying Hillary vs. Guliani in '08. My match-up, fantasy? Little Johnny Edwards vs. She-Bad, Herself, Mizzz Condi Rice in a battle-to-the-finish, steel-cage, deathmatch and may the prettiest one win!!!!

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/03/2004 02:19:00 PM || (1) comments


Southern Literature
Thanks to such luminaries as Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote and William Faulkner, damned near everyone knows that if you're from the south, you're either drunk, crippled, crazy or a homosexual. Loopy guys like this one don't help the reputation much.

I hear the tri-lateral commission has a contract out on him.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/02/2004 10:52:00 AM || (0) comments

Bonfire of The Jackasses, by: Tom Wolfe

"I would vote for Bush if for no other reason than to be at the airport waving off all the people who say they are going to London if he wins again. Someone has got to stay behind."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/02/2004 08:03:00 AM || (0) comments


Treacher at OpinionJournal with 10 reasons why he's not voting for Bush:

"5. How dare you taunt a dying Christopher Reeve with a big brown bottle of stem cells? The man was on his deathbed, you sick monster. Why did you have to hold the spoon right in front of his lips? "C'mon, Chrissy, it's right here. You can do it, bwah! Just another coupla inches. Oooh, yer close. Close!" Shame on you, Dubya."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/01/2004 10:09:00 AM || (1) comments

Did I mention that it was stupid?

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/01/2004 09:23:00 AM || (0) comments

Oh, won't someone stop this horrifying voter bribery by those facist republicans?

"The last two kids were dressed as Tolkein elves. Or very flamboyant Vulcans. Most heartening costume: three boys dressed as the FBI, the Secret Service, and the Army. Most amusing moments: three boys screamed “BUSH IS SCARY VOTE FOR KERRY,” whereupon I took back the bowl of candy. The look on their faces was priceless.

“Aren’t you going to vote for Kerry?” asked one.

“Your choice: I can vote for Kerry and you get one piece, or I vote for Bush and you get two.”

Total pieces dispensed: six"

|| Bubbles the Terrible 11/01/2004 09:17:00 AM || (0) comments


New Kerry Campaign Slogan!

"Kerry – The Same as Clinton, Without the Burning Sensation."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/29/2004 04:34:00 PM || (0) comments

Do you think Skylstad remembers that Tim Corrigan is still dead?
"The toll from O'Donnell's abuse reaches beyond the Corrigans. Another man mentioned O'Donnell by name in a suicide note before killing himself in 1990."

His eye may be on the sparrow, but the sparrow's still fucked.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/29/2004 11:17:00 AM || (0) comments

Fairly Unbalanced

She sues for harrassment, he countersues claiming "extortion" but then settles? Where's Gloria Allred when you need her?
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/29/2004 08:50:00 AM || (0) comments

Has-been and Soon-to-be-Has-been

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/29/2004 08:35:00 AM || (0) comments


Common Sense:

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/28/2004 10:16:00 AM || (0) comments

"...are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/28/2004 10:14:00 AM || (0) comments

Frank J asks a very pertinent Question:
If Bush is Reelected, Do You Think the Radical Left's Heads Will Explode Like in Scanners?

"As the election draws nearer, expect even crazier tactics from the Democrats to try and tip the election in their favor. Here are some things they may try:

* Make Michael Moore even fatter, harrier, and nosier to increase his sphere of influence.

* Attack D.C. via the most dangerous weapon known to man - the zeppelin!

* Try to get angry, biting monkeys the vote due to their high Democrat leanings.

* All major media gives full editing control to Terry McAuliffe and James Carville... the ones that haven't already, that is.

* They offer proof that Bush is Saddam Hussein.

* Have a Halloween contest for scariest costume and everyone shows up as Bush because, ya know, no one is scarier than Bush.

* They trot out and endless parade of floozies who say Bush groped them.

* Get even dumber, shriller celebrities to make hysterical statements about voting (e.g. "If you don't vote, we could lose gravity as we know it!")

* Since the 527s haven't worked... unleash the 528s!

* Every tree in Redwood National Park is cut down and converted into forged documents about Bush's National Guard service.

* Hide in the closets of nursing homes to scare old folks about Social Security.

* In protest of imagined voter intimidation, sit in front of polling places and set themselves on fire hoping the smell keeps away Republicans.

* Try and prove Bush's incompetence by stealing explosives in Iraq themselves.

* Claim brutality when they are shot by Marines.

* Go out into the streets and have a screech-a-thon from now until the election.

* Make use of their least tapped special interest group: gay, Latino, handicapped ninjas."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/28/2004 08:56:00 AM || (0) comments

Good News[TM] from the Middle East

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/28/2004 08:47:00 AM || (0) comments

For The Record...
I'm "personally opposed" to the law which makes the rape, bludgeoning, and beheading of dumb-ass, baby-boomer, activist, agitator nuns legal. However, I could never vote for a candidate who thought it was a bad law, if he also opposed the Kyoto treaty.

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/28/2004 08:40:00 AM || (0) comments


They Reek of Desperation and Patchouli Oil
Frank J gives us:

10. In response to Sinclair, numerous networks are forced to carry an hour long special about how Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian.

9. Bill Clinton is trotted out to do constant speeches, receiving treatment of a defibrillator between each one.

8. Instead of offering crack for registration, now they offer full-fledged cocaine.

7. P Diddy changes his get out the vote slogan in phone calls from "Vote or Die" to "Vote or I'll Kill You, Honkey."

6. They give up on the Kerry campaign to get a head start on the "Bush Stole the Election Again" campaign.

5. They pay for an ad scaring people about the draft on IMAO.

4. They threaten that, if Bush is reelected, they'll have people move here from France.

3. Kerry starts to make an issue of how he served in Vietnam.

2. For the last minute campaigning, Kerry gets a two thousand dollar haircut.

And the number one way you can tell the left is getting desperate about the election...

You can't. They've been about as desperate as they can be since 2001. "

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/26/2004 10:25:00 AM || (3) comments


This Just In: Jimmy Carter Still An Asshole

"George Bush has exploited the suffering of September 11 and turned back decades of efforts to make the world a safer place, the former president Jimmy Carter says in an interview with the Guardian published today."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/25/2004 07:56:00 AM || (0) comments


"She's a Lady! Woa-woa-woa..."
John Hawkins at RightWingNews has the second part of his Ann Coulter interview up. Here's a snippet:

John Hawkins: How about dashing off a quick sentence or even just a word or two about the following individuals...

    - George Bush: A 21st century Churchill.
    - Dick Cheney: Takes a licking, keeps on ticking.
    - Jonah Goldberg: Who?
    - Andrew Sullivan: Every inch a lady.
    - Tucker Carlson: See what happens when you try to be mainstream?
    - John Kerry: 30 years later he's still shooting himself in the foot.
    - Teresa Heinz Kerry: To be first lady, first you have to be a lady.
    - John Edwards: Jury's still out - expect a huge settlement.
    - Max Cleland: At least he earned his medals.
    - Dan Rather: A space alien -- and I have the Microsoft documents from the fifties. that prove it!

And the prize-winning quote:
"John Hawkins: What do you think of the claim made by people like Eric Alterman that the mainstream media is actually conservative?

Ann Coulter: Eric, they're called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, and they're going to change your life. Ask your doctor if an S.S.R.I. is right for you. "

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/22/2004 10:18:00 AM || (0) comments

Kerry Campaign Spokesman Phil Singer Is An Ass

"The Kerry campaign accused the Bush administration of "telling Americans to keep calm" while top officials like Cheney and Treasury Secretary John Snow get their flu shots.

"Once again the Bush administration proves that it is the 'Do as we say, not as we do' White House," Kerry campaign spokesman Phil Singer said."
Gee, I managed to get a flu shot and I'm not anything like as rich as Cheney. Then again, we both did have heart attacks...

"...pendejo jerkoff!"
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/22/2004 08:51:00 AM || (0) comments


Lileks on Boo-boo's "Breck Girl" Moment:

"Getting prepped for the harsh blare of TV lights is a peculiar experience, and you learn to sit still and think of England. So no, the clip isn’t particularly unusual.

Until he whips out – well, you’ll see. It’s like Captain Kirk whipping out his communicator to contact the USS Fabulous. Set phasers on stunning!"

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/20/2004 09:16:00 AM || (0) comments


A Very Good Book

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/19/2004 03:58:00 PM || (0) comments

Curious About Kerry? From Protein Wisdom:

John Kerry: “Whatever you need, it’s yours. Need a job? You got it. Need a higher living wage? Done. Need cheap, universal healthcare? I’m your man. Need a better education? Have at it, paid in full. Relying on social security for your retirement? I’ll put it in a lock box. Tax relief? I can give you that, too. Want to lose your virginity to a teenage Mexicali hooker and a donkey? I’ll print coupons. And the best part is, every single one of my plans comes with free cole slaw and a plate of homestyle biscuits!”

George Bush: “Anybody who believes this guy can deliver on even one percent of his promises deserves four years of John F’n Kerry. God bless, and good night.”

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/19/2004 10:43:00 AM || (2) comments

"Hello, I'm an over-bred, under-educated, self-righteous git with bad teeth and appalling personal hygine. Might I tell you how you should vote?"

"Consider this: stay out of American electoral politics. Unless you would like a company of US Navy Seals - Republican to a man - to descend upon the offices of the Guardian, bag the lot of you, and transport you to Guantanamo Bay, where you can share quarters with some lonely Taliban shepherd boys."
"Oh, apparently not."
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/19/2004 08:38:00 AM || (1) comments

The ABA Tosses A "Bukkake" Fest All Over Step-Father Robert Drinan

"In nominating Drinan, admirers described him as "an eloquent and effective advocate for the most downtrodden in society," someone "active in so many areas on the law and human rights that there is not enough space to catalog them," and such a "towering figure in the academic, professional, clerical and public service fields" that he "is the stuff of which legends are made." They noted the ABA Section of Individual Rights and Responsibilities created the Robert F. Drinan Distinguished Service Award in 2001, recognizing his leadership in protecting and advancing human rights, civil liberties and social justice."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/19/2004 08:26:00 AM || (2) comments

Joan of Dysphasia
"If you could ask God--or your concept a higher power--one question, what would it be?

I would ask God why he put George Bush in office for four years to screw up our country. I probably would ask that because the election is so close."
Once again, Actor + No Script = Bad Idea
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/19/2004 08:05:00 AM || (0) comments

All Dolled Up And, (let's face it), Nowhere To Go
Boo-boo primps for the camera

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/19/2004 07:59:00 AM || (1) comments


Tim Blair Piles it On
FORUSA.ORG is some jerkoff, pseudo-spiritual "peace" movement that's posting photos of terribly earnest people holding terribly earnest signs detailing their terribly earnest apologies for the Iraq war. Photo's like this:

...not to mention cholesterol. The lesbian in the lower right corner seems more preoccupied with a bolus in her lower intestine. Of course we can't be surprised that the d-generation, which seemingly invented the public whine, and promotes the idea that complicity in genocide is easily excused if you hold a press conference and express how bad you feel about it all, comes up with shit like this. However, Tim posts this from dorkafork:

and it all becomes clear.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/18/2004 01:04:00 PM || (0) comments

Kerry Gets A Hummer
This of course, can hardly be considered a "first" for boomer priests:
"Father Lawrence Hummer, of St. Mary's Church, criticized church officials who condemn Catholic politicians who speak out for abortion rights, calling on them to use patient persistence and bring them into the fold.

"It is the task of the church to convince and to encourage through all patience, by word and example, those who do not agree, not to ostracize them or treat them like lepers," Hummer said.

"There are many people who think that the destruction of Iraqi life is as direct an assault on the sacred as is the taking of unborn life. There are many people who regard the death penalty as an admission of the smallness of our nature rather than evidence of our greatness."

"God bless you. Win, will you?" Hummer told Kerry after mass ended."
If you'd like to tell the Diocese of Columbus what you think of Step-Father Hummer's turning Mother Church into a whore, you can do so here
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/18/2004 09:40:00 AM || (0) comments

The Day After Tomorrow's Day Before Yesterday
Lileks offers a sccccintillating critique of Roland Emmerich's hatred of New York City. Some brilliant points:
" 5. Next time, have Dennis Quaid set his Acting Face on something other than “woke up to the sound of the smoke alarm.”

7. You remember that scene where the guys in the Scottish station are sitting around pounding the Balvenie, knowing they're going to die, and one of the guys is talking about never seeing his son grow up as if he's describing a lottery ticket he lost six years ago that may or may not have had the winning numbers? Bookmark that scene should you ever wake in the middle of the night wondering "do I suck, completely?"
He also alerts us to this "Doom Crammed Photo:

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/18/2004 09:02:00 AM || (1) comments


It's a Good Thing[TM]

"Martha Stewart is now in prison. She announced recently that she will be writing a prison diary.

Good news. Martha is already # 1 on the Amazon list.

Bad news. The amazon is named Crystal and they’re sharing a cell!

Worse news, she’s also number 2 and number 3 on that list.

The book will sell in Canada for $24.99, in the United States for $19.99 and in prison for 7 packs of Marlboros."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/15/2004 11:55:00 AM || (0) comments

Who's Shame Is It Anyway?
First, Boo-boo, then Yogi bring up Cheney's daughter:
She's a lesbian. Aren't you wonderfully tolerant for loving her?
Lynn Cheney, the Mom in this mess, fires back with the fact that this was a:
" and tawdry political trick."
Lizzie Edwards, wife of that blow-dried and repeatedly polished, sphincter-boy comes back with her own brand of mind-reading, slander:
"She's [Lynne Cheney]overreacted to this and treated it as if it's shameful to have this discussion. I think that's a very sad state of affairs… I think that it indicates a certain degree of shame with respect to her daughter's sexual preferences… It makes me really sad that that's Lynne's response."
I got news for you Mrs. Edwards: Mrs. Cheney wasn't talking about her shame, she was talking about yours.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/15/2004 09:48:00 AM || (0) comments

Physics Professor Phlips Out
That's what you get when you stay up late reading about M-Space and String Theory.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/15/2004 08:22:00 AM || (1) comments

From my Mom:

"John Kerry visits a school classroom. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks Mr. Kerry if he would like to lead the discussion on the word tragedy.
So the Senator asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and offers: If my best friend, who lives on a farm is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy.
No, says Kerry, that would be an "accident".
A little girl raises her hand: If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.
I'm afraid not,explains Mr. Kerry. That's what we would call a " great loss".
The room goes silent. No other children volunteered.
Kerry searches the room. Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?
Finally, at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice, he says: If your campaign plane, carrying you, Mr. Kerry, were struck by a " friendly fire missile" and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.
Fantastic! exclaims Kerry. That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?
Well, says the boy because it certainly wouldn't be a "great loss " and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/15/2004 07:54:00 AM || (2) comments


I don't care...
...what she says, I think O'Reilly's just dreamy

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/14/2004 09:39:00 AM || (0) comments

Ah, Politics
By now I'm sure you've heard of Tennessee congressional representative, Craig Fitzhugh

and his alleged campaign literature:

He's currently denying it like anything (asinine registration required) and apparently claiming it's a conspiracy. Fitzhugh's e-mail address is:

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/14/2004 09:17:00 AM || (0) comments


Absolute Bullshit

Boo-boo: "When John Kerry is president, people like Christopher Reeve are going to walk. Get up out of that wheelchair and walk again..."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/12/2004 01:21:00 PM || (2) comments

Real Catholics Not Allowed:

"She informed me that since the Kerry/Edwards campaign had rented the America's Center they had every right to deny anyone that they deemed likely to cause a disruption of to be a threat to the safety of the Senator. I told her that we would leave our signs outside. She said no. I told her that we would say nothing, and that we were not there to cause a disruption or harm to the Senator, and that if we did cause a disruption they could remove us. She said no. I asked her what evidence they had that we were going to cause a disruption, at which time she fell silent because there was no evidence. Up until this time the only disruptions were those cause by the Kerry supporters themselves, all we did was stand silently in prayer. I pressed her on this issue, but she could not give an adequate answer. They had no grounds for expelling us other than the fact that we were wearing roman collars. They knew our very presence would challenge Senator Kerry’s position on Life issues and the wanted to avoid that, even if it meant squelching our freedom of speech and freedom of expression. So much for the Democratic Party being a party of understanding and diversity."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/12/2004 10:35:00 AM || (9) comments

Guliani on Kerry on Terrorism:

"I’m wondering exactly when Senator Kerry thought they were just a nuisance. Maybe when they attacked the USS Cole? Or when they attacked the World Trade Center in 1993? Or when they slaughtered the Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics in 1972? Or killed Leon Klinghoffer by throwing him overboard? Or the innumerable number of terrorist acts that they committed in the 70s, the 80s and the 90s, leading up to September 11?"

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/12/2004 10:16:00 AM || (0) comments

Steyn, Interrupted

"The United Kingdom, like the government of the Philippines when it allegedly paid a ransom for the release of its Iraqi hostages, is thus assisting in the mainstreaming of jihad."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/12/2004 09:37:00 AM || (0) comments

Frank J, On The Evils of Taxation:

" Now, Kerry is promising all these benefits to people not smart enough to get high-paying engineering jobs like me, and he says he'll pay for it by taxing all these wealthy people I don't know.


You just know he's going to raise taxes on everyone - especially me; you can see it in his evil, Botox-twisted expression of contempt for the common man and humorous blogger. And if my taxes get raised any more, I'm going to get so mad I’m going to punch someone! That's right; raising taxes will increase violent assault - but that's not all!

Higher taxes destroys jobs just like a baseball bat destroys a stool pigeon's head. Without jobs, we'll all be roaming the countryside scrounging for food and supplies. Also, with the high gasoline taxes, we'll fight for fuel just like in Mad Max. And, as soon as weakness shows, you know the monkey will try and overthrow us. They've already done so for half of France."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/12/2004 09:14:00 AM || (0) comments


Apparently, I'm having a "Superhero" day here at Sirman on the Mount. Frank will be so pleased...
"The next time America is attacked, people will not want someone who can calculate pi to the 48th digit while reciting Latin maxims on the nature of war. They will want someone who says, "Hulk smash." Inelegant as the sentiment might be, Hulk-thought works better than Captain Nuance striding into the United Nations waving resolutions and chastening editorials from Le Monde."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/11/2004 04:05:00 PM || (1) comments

It's all about the ooooiiiiillllll!!!

"John will never send a boy or girl in a uniform anywhere in the world because of our need and greed for oil," Teresa Heinz Kerry told about 1,200 supporters at the McAllen Civic Center."

Dear God,
Please let Teresa Heinz Kerry keep talkin'
Your friend,
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/11/2004 01:21:00 PM || (1) comments

September 25, 1952 - October 10, 2004

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/11/2004 09:08:00 AM || (0) comments


*Sound of Crickets Chirping*
This was going to be a post about Sean Penn's self-important rant to Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of "Team America: World Police", but then I realized that nobody cares what Sean Penn "thinks."
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/09/2004 07:57:00 AM || (2) comments


From "How Berkeley Can You Be"
Not safe for work if you have a local chapter of W.U.S.O.P. (Women United to Stamp Out Penises) in the office. Seriously, is it something in the water? These guys are hung like cats.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/08/2004 09:48:00 AM || (2) comments

Dar al Islam
No, I don't hate muslims, but I have nothing but loathing and contempt for the World of Islam which produces this and then has the gall to whine and bitch about alleged bigotry.
"Godzhiev, Kazbek Age: 10
Brain contusion, temporal and pariental bone fracture. Mechanical ventilation. Condition on 9/7/04: coma changed to deep semicoma, fragmented consciosness appeared. Hypodynemics: steady. 9/8/04: started to react to mother by increased heart rate. Crisis therapy.

Tsoraeva, Alina Age: 10
Injury of cervical spine. Perforating wound of underjaw. Shell fragment wound of shin upper third. State: steady, grave. Consulted by maxillofacial surgeons today.

Ushakova, Viktoriya Age: 12
Open fractures of shin bones, dextral pleuropneumonia (mild case), foreign bodies in chest cavity and chest. Shell in one eye. State: satisfactory. Dynamics: improved. With the mother and father in hospital.

Zhukaeva, Madina Age: 8
Degloving injury of the right shin, bleeding anemia, depressed case, fractures, under the second surgery the third and fourth toes are excised, accomodated in the crisis therapy department.

Tsalikov, Soslan Age: 15
Mine explosion wound, shell fragment wound of right shin, left hip, injury of lien, liver, stomach, hemopneumothorax on the right side.

Bekuzarov, Dzambulat Age: 7
Burn desease of 40%, thermal burns of front side of corpus, limbs, epilepsy. State: steady, moderately severe. Lightly improved dynamics.

Tetov, Azamat Age: 10
Multiple gunshot penetrating wounds of abdominal area with injury of twisted intestine. Eardrum rupture. State on 9/7/04: surgery, ileostomy applied. Unable to eat.

Mukagov, Azamat Age: 2
Abdominal gunshot penetration wound. Liver wound. Peritonitis. 9/4/2004 the patient was operated. Colostomy and ileostomy were applied. Started to eat. State: improves. With the mother and father at hospital.

Biboeva, Madina Soslanovna Age: 7
Burn disease 45%. Was operated on 9/7/04 (7 %) -
deep closed craniocerebral injury; Necretomy. Was transferred from intensive care block to the 6th department of surgery. Steady state, relatively satisfactory.

Esiev, Alan Borisovich Age: 11
Burn disease 45%. Deep burns (20%). State: severe. Crisis therapy. In artificial respiration.

Kochiev, Alan Age: 12
Burn diseas 70%. (6-8%) are deep. Closed craniocerebral injury. The patient was operated (6-8% necrectomy). Recovered from anaesthesia. Gives response.

Mkrtychan, Mikhail Age: 9
Shell fragment wound of right orbit. Right eye penetrating wound. Hemophthalmia. Right shin bone and palm fracture. Crisis therapy.

Khybaeva, Ilona Age: 8
Penetrating scleral wound of the right eye. Hemophthalmia. Detached retina.

Budaeva, Dzerassa Age: 10
Mine explosion wound. Burn disease of 38%.Pneumothorax. Shin bone fracture. During surgery shin bone fragment is removed.

Tigieva, Alana Age: 10
Complex injury, shell fragment body wounds.Thermal burn.

Bokoev, Stanislav Age: 14
Gunshot wound of neck. Front side with trachea injury. Gunshot fragment wound of lateral breast. Kartagener's syndrom (complete visceral inversion, bronchopulmonary pathology, sinuitis).

Kadalaeva, Anna Age: 10
Shell fragment wound of left orbit. Rupture of left eyeball. Mother reported missing.

Oziev, Vladimir Age: 8
Mine explosion wound. Shell fragment wounds of face, arms and legs. Foreign bodies in the left eye-pit, upper third of left hip and lower third of left chin. His mother and 9 year old brother are reported

Guldaeva, Amina Age: 11
Mine explosion wound. Shell fragment perforating wound of cervical spine. C-5 spine fracture. Contusion cervical spine cord with radicular syndrom.

Khadartseva, Amina Age: 8
Perforating gunshot wound of left shoulder.

Karaeva, Zhanna Age: 13
Gunshot wound of right knee joint.

Guldaev, Georgy Age: 6
Shell fragment wound in the back region.

Plyev, Zaur Age: 10
Mine explosion injury with avulsed wounds of left arm and radial neurve injury.

Dziova, Zarina Age: 12
Radial neurve neuritis due to gunshot wound.

Khugaeva, Albina Age: 11
Gunshot wounds to both legs.

Vataeva, Agunda Age: 13
Gunshot wounds to right knee joint.

Salkazanov, Ruslan Age: 6
Opened fracture of knee joint medial condyle.

Avsanova, Bella Age: 16
Mine explosion injury, shell fragment open penetrating wound, multiple foreign bodies in pariental lobe. State after excision trepanation: emergency, conscious. His sister Valentina and her husband arrive tomorrow.

Kozyrev, Zaur Age: 10
Penetrating wound of rib cage. The Crisis therapy department.

Bikashvili, David Age: 8
Computerized thomography. Gunshot wound of right shoulder girdle with penetrating into pleural cavity. Hemothorax at the right side. Moral state: extremely unsatisfactory.

Esieva, Milana Age: 7
Computerized thomography. Shell fragment penetrating wound of abdominal cavity, liver wound. The state is improving.

Gochashvili, Svetlana Age: 42
Splenectomy, gunshot wound of rib cage, crisis therapy.

Fraeva, Amina Age: 7
3rd degree burns of 16%.

Dzandarova, Madina Age: 16
Mine explosion wound. Barotrauma. Severe brain contusion with with dominating injury of right hemisphere. Partial crushing in frontotemporal lobes. Intradural hemotoma in right frontotemporal region. Cephaledema.

Valiev, David Age: 15
Mine explosion wound, shell fragment blunt penetrating wound of skull and brain. Foreign body in the left frontal lobe. Shell fragment wound of rib cage right half.

Kachmazova, Alina Age: 8
Penetrating wound of eye cornea with prolapse of eye. Surgery: left eye is excised.

Murtazova, Diana Age: 14
Mine explosion wounds. Shell fragment wounds in the region of fifth cervical vertebra and spinal cord with abnormal neurility of spinal cord. Surgery aimed to improve spinal cord neurility is performed on
9/6/2004. Tetraparesis. The state on 9/7/2004: she breathes without apparatus, conscious. Hemodynamics is steady.

Chipirov, Azamat Age: 10
Shell fragment wound of right temporal region. Brain contusion with crushing of right parietotemporal region.

Sheikhov, Abdul Age: 7
Severe burns.

Ramonov, Irbek Age: 8
Fragmentation wound of front upper third of splinter bone. Isteomyelitis suspect.

Archegova, Linda Age: 6
Thermal burns.

Kalmanov, Murat Batrazovich Age: 16
Right hand wound. The palm is broken. Îsteomyelitis. Frags in the temporal region; two frags in the shoulder. Ear gunshot wound."

Tsagoeva, Valeria Age: 4
Mine explosion wound. Shell fragment wound the left shoulder joint and posterior surface of thoracic cage. Extraneous body in the right shoulder-joint and posterior surface of thoracic cage.

Igorevna Bkuzarova, Kristina Age: 10
Mine wound with complications, penetrating gunshot wound of the chest.

Eduardovna Guseinova, Viktoria Age: 16
Fragment wound of skull.

Elbrusovna Esieva, Diana Age: 6
Lacerated fragment wound.

Olegovich Kastuev, Alan Age: 9
Mine injury, penetrating bullet wound of chest.

Taimurazovich Kozyirev, Zaur Age: 10
Mine injury, penetrating bullet wound.

Kazbekovich Kusaev, Fidar Age: 4
Mine injury, penetrating fragment wound.

Ruslanovich Kusov, Alan Age: 11
Mine injury, penetrating fragment chest wound.

Andronnikov Farniev, Georgyi Age: 10
Mine injury, fragment wounds, contusion.

Dzandarov, Ruslan Age: 13
Mine explosion wound, penetrating shell fragment wound of camera cordis. Fracture of the left fourth rib. Traumatic pneumonia.

Vazagova, Helena Age: 10
Mine explosion wound of abdominal cavity with small gut injury. Opened fracture of right hand. Brain contusion. Acoustic trauma.

Bugulova, Zarina Age: 14
Mine explosion wound. Penetrating shell fragment wounf of right breast case. Shell fragment wound of right shoulder. Hemothorax. Acoustic trauma. Put in a thoracal department.

Mamsurova, Zamira Age: 14
Mine explosion wound. Multiple wounds of soft tissues. Pneumothorax on the right side, contused left lung, left hip fracture, lower jaw fracture, third-degree shock.

Mamsurov, Zelim Age: 11
Mine explosion wound. Gunshot wound of brachial and pubic areas, wing of ilium. First degree shock.

Aslanovich Farniev, Elbrus Age: 7
Mine injury, bullet wound.

Arturovna Hamitsaeva, Elina Age: 10
Mine injury, chest wound.

Ktsoeva Viktoriya Age: 14
Blunt gunshot wound of skull and brain. Preparation to surgery. State is satisfactory. Transferred to the neurosurgery department.

Kusaev, Alan Age 14
Mine explosion injury at the left side. Hemothorax at the left side. Shell fragment wounds of head and rib cage. Put in crisis therapy.

Balikoev, Robert Age: 7
Computerized thomography. Shell fragment penetrating wound of right rib cage. Gunshot wound of shoulder. Hemothorax at the right side. Put in thoracic department.

Dudiev, Kazbek Age: 10
Computerized thomography. Shell fragment wound of left nephritic region. Shell fragment penetrating wound of rib cage. Hemothorax at the right side. Urology Department.

Dzugaev, Aslanbek Age: 14
Computerized thomography. Gunshot penetrating wound of rib case right side. Hemothorax at the right side, second degree shock.

Fadeeva, Alevtina Age: 12
Computerized thomography. Gunshot wound of lumbar region. State is improving.

Dzebisov, Zaur Age: 12
Pulmonary cyst in left lung. Sinistral pneumothorax.

Guseynova, Victoria Age: 16
Computerized thomography. Shell fragment open penetrating wound of skull left parietofrontal region. After excision. The crisis therapy department ."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/08/2004 09:10:00 AM || (6) comments


|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/08/2004 08:32:00 AM || (0) comments

Islam will destroy France, not Disney

"French President Jacques Chirac warned Thursday of a "catastrophe" for global diversity if the United States' cultural hegemony goes unchallenged.

The outspoken French president warned that the world's different cultures could be "choked" by US values."
It's far more likely that they'll be "choked" by the stench emanating from that "shitty, little country" that should belong to England, or even Italy. And no, I don't "hate" the French; I'm sure some of my best friends are arrogant, irrelevant, traitorous, war-profiteering ass-holes who never bathe.
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/08/2004 08:19:00 AM || (2) comments


Heart Patient Outruns Abulance Chaser

"After Dick Cheney had beaten Edwards about the head for a while during the debate, Edwards waved his girlish hands and said: "There are 60 countries who have members of al-Qaida in them. How many of those countries are we going to invade?"

The Democrats' silver-tongued boy thought he had made a very clever point. In fact, I believe this is the first time we've gotten any Democrat to admit that the entire al-Qaida terrorist network is not living in a narrow mountainous path between Afghanistan and Pakistan."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/07/2004 10:56:00 AM || (31) comments

It's All About the Oiiiiilllllll!
It's amazing. Europe's in an uproar because they actually believe in the UN. MSM in the US however, is acting like this is all about WMD. Message to MSM: your euro-buddies disagree with you. Doesn't this mean you have to put on sackcloth and ashes?
"SADDAM HUSSEIN believed he could avoid the Iraq war with a bribery strategy targeting Jacques Chirac, the President of France, according to devastating documents released last night.

Memos from Iraqi intelligence officials, recovered by American and British inspectors, show the dictator was told as early as May 2002 that France - having been granted oil contracts - would veto any American plans for war."


"To keep America at bay, he focusing on Russia, France and China - three of the five UN Security Council members with the power to veto war. Politicians, journalists and diplomats were all given lavish gifts and oil-for-food vouchers.

Tariq Aziz, the former Iraqi deputy prime minister, told the ISG that the "primary motive for French co-operation" was to secure lucrative oil deals when UN sanctions were lifted. Total, the French oil giant, had been promised exploration rights.

Iraqi intelligence officials then "targeted a number of French individuals that Iraq thought had a close relationship to French President Chirac," it said, including two of his "counsellors" and spokesman for his re-election campaign.

They even assessed the chances for "supporting one of the candidates in an upcoming French presidential election." Chirac is not mentioned by name."

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/07/2004 10:43:00 AM || (0) comments

Slanderer's Ball

Much digital ink has been spilled over District Judge William Morvant's overturning a Louisiana constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, less than three weeks after voters overwhelmingly approved it. His reason for doing so is legal in that amendments to the Louisiana Constitution may not have more than one purpose; this amendment did. It defined marriage as being between one man and one woman and it also disallowed recognition of civil unions. While I support both actions, it seems apparent to me that the Judge was specifically following the law in this matter.

This small issue of actually following the law has not stopped a host of individuals from attempting to impugn the motives and job performance of the judge. Kenneth Tanner at Touchstone Magazine offers this:
"According to the judge (king? dictator?), the duly-enacted amendment is “flawed.” "
It is notable that Mr. Tanner doesn't bother to actually inform anyone as to the actual flaw. Meanwhile, Ryan Zempel at Townhall doesn't bother with casting aspersions on the finding, he just goes for the judge:
"What? Liberal activist judges are out of control? Nah, couldn't be."
So, according to the common wisdom (and I use the phrase advisedly as I know of no polite phrase for petulant stupidity) the judge overturned the amendment because he was arrogantly engaging in liberal, judicial activism; the fact that the amendment was illegal as written is just a red herring.

I'm reminded of a quote from Death in the Discworld novels:
"Oh, I wish I were as clever as you!"
|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/07/2004 09:29:00 AM || (0) comments

May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

|| Bubbles the Terrible 10/07/2004 09:00:00 AM || (0) comments


Frank J Gives Us the Skinny on Evil, Ol' Halliburton
From IMAO:

As we all know from the media, Cheney serves his master the corporation Halliburton, the most evil corporation there is. Thus I sent my crack research staff to find out all they can about Halliburton, and I even checked out the site Cheney mentioned (my sister was the first one to tell me about that site; good silly sister). Here are the goods:

  • Halliburton gets its name from the last name of Lucifer Halliburton, prince of darkness.

  • Halliburton the corporation was founded right after Adam and Eve were expelled from paradise and soon got a sole-source contract for building their house.

  • The cross Christ was crucified on - all Halliburton. They had sole-source on that for the Romans.

  • During the Dark Ages, Halliburton labored long and hard to find a way to pollute the world using the technology available, but ended up on just causing the crusades since they had the sole-source on chain mail and the pope was a former CEO of theirs.

  • While Andrew Jackson was president, Halliburton was able to get a contract to randomly destroy forest and kill woodland creatures for no particular reason.

  • In the 80's, Halliburton researched how to turn puppies into nuclear waste that they could then put in the water of school children.

  • After Cheney became CEO, Halliburton made money by bulldozing orphanages in third world countries to make chemical weapons plants to use on kittens.

  • Some are confused exactly what business Halliburton does. Its main products are pollution, hatred, death, and lawn furniture.

  • Remember when you didn't get that toy you wanted for Christmas? It was because of Halliburton!

  • In Iraq, Halliburton has a couple people instructed to bang a hammer against pieces of wood to pretend they're constructing something while the rest of the employees work on stealing all that sweet, sweet oil.

  • Halliburton saves money on labor by using slave labor. They save money on slave drivers by just giving whips to angry gorillas.

  • Know who canceled the original Star Trek? Halliburton!

  • Halliburton contractors in Iraq have been instructed to strap Iraqi children to themselves to protect themselves from bullets.

  • Halliburton holds the patents on strife, suffering, genocide, and pure evil.

  • Despite seemingly cutting contact with Halliburton and its profits, Cheney gets a dollar from Halliburton each time an innocent civilian in Iraq is killed.

  • In a fight between Aquaman and Halliburton, Aquaman would be bribed with a cushy job to not tell the press how Halliburton is dumping waste in the ocean (hey, the ocean is two thirds of the earth; where else are you supposed to dump waste?).

  • In the movie Planet of the Apes, know who blew up the Statue of Liberty? Halliburton!

  • Reliable polemic, government-controlled newspapers in the Middle East say that not only is Halliburton part of the Great Satan, it's also run by jooooos!

  • Halliburton has gotten its pollution so efficient, it soon should be able to produce pure pollution without any commercial byproduct.

  • Halliburton has done business with America's sworn enemies such as Libya, Iran, and France.

  • It's in the Halliburton mission statement to put evil and the customer before profit.
  • || Bubbles the Terrible 10/06/2004 03:55:00 PM || (0) comments

    Debate Summary from SomethingAwful.Com

    "Edwards started off heavy by removing his shirt and asking Cheney to "oil him up." When Cheney refused, Edwards called him a "tease." Edwards, in a candid move, then recited the sacred Green Lantern Oath while bare-chested:

    In brightest day, in darkest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight.
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power....Green Lantern's Light."

    || Bubbles the Terrible 10/06/2004 09:32:00 AM || (0) comments

    Next, on FOX: When Angry Democrats Attack!

    || Bubbles the Terrible 10/06/2004 09:21:00 AM || (0) comments